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Scapegoating in Families: Intergenerational Patterns of Physical and Emotional Abuse, by Vimala Pillari
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Learning not to live and now knowing how to change: This is the world of the scapegoat according to Dr Vimala Pillari, who has worked with many unfortunate child-victims and adult survivors of severe scapegoating. Dr Pillari analyzes the multifaceted aspects of these victims and their dysfunctional families and demonstrates that scapegoating is an intergenerational phenomenon - parents and their children are victims of their upbringing. The legacy of scapegoating lives on from one family to another, from one generation to the next. With psychodynamic insight and detailed clinical examples, the author illuminates the complexity of family dynamics and human behaviour and provides guidelines for treatment.
- Sales Rank: #1232349 in Books
- Published on: 1991-07-01
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 10.00" h x 2.00" w x 8.00" l,
- Binding: Hardcover
- 215 pages
Most helpful customer reviews
25 of 25 people found the following review helpful.
Exceptional Book
By Amazon Customer
I bought this book over 7 years ago, & it's impact on me was profound. I have re-read it, highlighted & underlined sections over the years. There is not enough written on this subject, & most people's awareness of this phenomenon is nil. Highly recommended if you've been branded the "black sheep" of your family.
19 of 20 people found the following review helpful.
Nature Girl
By Terrie
This book has been an eye-opener for me. It is written in a way that makes this difficult and hard to understand family dynamic easy to understand. I would never have believed something like this is possible, laying the blame for all the ills of the family on one child, the scapegoat, if it had not happened to me. In my case however i believed it, carried the blame and guilt all my life buried deep and not so deep. I have lived with a deep sense of shame, low self-esteem and loneliness my whole life, as i grew up believing all this negative stuff about myself. This book is helping to liberate me from that identity and suddenly life looks so much different. I hadn't realized i was looking at life and the world through a scapegoat's lenses. It is tremendous to be getting free of this as it has been a horrific experience as a child and terrible to carry it into adulthood.
I recommend this book with all my heart to any one else who has been the scapegoat child in their family of origin, you will see a new way to view yourself as a person.
The liberation and happiness i feel is immense. I am grateful to the author. She does a really good job of giving voice to a very complicated family system.
15 of 15 people found the following review helpful.
Helpful for Scapegoatees
By Mary Ann Extra
This book has helped me make sense of my past. I am the scapegoat of my immediate family (including ex-husband) and the next level up (most of which is dead now). If you can resist the temptation to dwell on the past and the horrors it can drag up, this easy-to-read book might help you move on just a little bit more to freedom and happiness. I am 65 and either I have really bad luck or I cause people I love to mistreat me. I am scapegoated by my only child, too! I have looked for several years and this is the only book I have found that addresses the particular kind of livelong abuse I have known. My parents and extended family hated me because I caused my parents to have to get married. So I was the family trouble-maker as an unwanted fetus. Yes, they were so crazy that even as a little child I recognized they were nuts and I was being raised by wolves. It was a luxury and a kindness to see myself on every page of this little book.
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